


Curiosity

by facetiousfutz



Series: Webflix and Compose [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 23:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10932678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facetiousfutz/pseuds/facetiousfutz
Summary: Peridot finds herself perplexed by the popular human ritual known as kissing.





	Curiosity

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 15kisses challenge on Dreamwidth.

Ever since Greg had installed that modem device that gave Lapis and Peridot their primitive, yet sufficient Internet connection, they, rather Greg, had purchased them a monthly subscription to the video streaming service known as Webflix, where they spent a solid twenty-two hours a day watching all of the shows. Well, Lapis did, but Peridot preferred to have a few favorites, like Camp Pining Hearts, and watch them repeatedly on her hand held phone device instead. Another gift from the one called Greg. As far as pure-blooded humans go, Peridot favored Greg the best. She had no idea what Pearl’s problem with him was and didn’t want to know. 

“You know, Lapis. In all the time we’ve spent watching television together, I’ve noticed we have failed to touch upon some common behaviors exhibited by the human actors that play our beloved favorite characters,” said Peridot, one comfortable and undisturbed midnight hour. They were sitting outside in the stars, having a marathon of the show called Rise Above on Webflix. 

“Because I am trying to watch, Peridot. Not talk,” said Lapis, engaged heavily on the last five minutes of the season finale. “They’re about to reveal who killed Winston.” 

“Oh brother,” said Peridot, rolling her eyes. The one called Winston was a bland and thoughtless character whose very existence in that realm was contrived butt crap. Then again, Lapis was a sucker for clod TV. “Can we talk when you’re done?” 

“Shh-shh yes shh,” said Lapis, inching closer to the TV. Peridot sat back and pouted until the credits rolled, and that’s when Lapis froze. Then she threw her head back and screamed. 

“Ahh! What? What’s wrong, Lapis? Are you OK? What happened?” Peridot said, clinging to her shoulder. Lapis was an anxious sort. 

“It ended on a cliffhanger!” she shouted, thumping her fists against the wooden boards. “Why do all of my shows do this to me? Now I have to wait a whole year to find out what happens. And they didn’t even reveal who killed Winston!” 

“And this is why I only stick to two... three? Two fandoms,” said Peridot. “Camp Pining Hearts and Keep Beach City Weird.” 

“Ugh, I hate that blog,” said Lapis. “I think that Fernando guy is just trying to cause trouble.” 

“We’ve been over this, Lapis. His name is Ronaldo and he’s a genius! His rendition of the antics of the Crystal CLODS is way more interesting than the real thing.” 

“Yeah, if you’re into silly conspiracy theories,” said Lapis, rolling her eyes. 

“Come ooooon, Lapis. It’s all in good fun. And, speaking of fun, I updated my Percierre fic while you were watching that dreck. It’s already gotten ten reviews. Oooh, I’m so popular fanfics dot net.” 

“That’s great, Peridot. I’ll read it later,” said Lapis, sighing. 

“Please do, because I need a gem’s perspective. Some other gem besides Garnet. Every review she posts is “Nice!” NICE! You’d think, after thirty-seven chapters and three hundred THOUSAND words that she’d have something else to say besides “Nice!” That’s why I prefer your reviews, Lapis, because at least you put THOUGHT behind them.” 

“Well,” said Lapis, rubbing the side of her arm. “Thanks, I guess.” 

“There is one thing that eludes me, though, and that is what I wish to discuss with you today, Lapis. This... kissing business.” 

“Kissing business?” 

“Yeah!” said Peridot, holding up her screen and pointing at it. “I’ve given my audience everything Percierre fans could ask for. They’ve had heartfelt conversations. They’ve fused and defeated their adversaries on multiple occasions. They’ve even had a pie fight, and I don’t even know what pie is!” 

Lapis giggled and leaned forward, engaged in Peridot’s rant. Occasionally they were funny, and she had a hunch about this one. Frankly, anything to get her mind off the season finale of Rise Above was more than welcome. 

“But I’m stunned by the amount of reviewers who keep asking, ‘Hey, TechnoGemOfEarth, why haven’t Percy and Pierre kissed yet? I thought this was a Percierre fic.’” 

“That’s rude,” said Lapis. “You explained in your Author’s Notes in Chapter Six that Percierre kissing fics have been done before, and you’re trying to take a wholesome and original approach. See, I remember.”

“THANK YOU,” said Peridot. “But for SOME REASON people keep asking. They ask another strange question, too. They ask, ‘is it Percy, or Pierre who tops?’ and it’s like... NEITHER. The point of a balanced fusion is not to submit and dominate, but to work as partners, is it not?” 

“Umm, for the most part, I guess. I wouldn’t know.” She ducked her head, thinking back to her fusion with Jasper for a moment before banishing the thought. It wasn’t something she liked to remind herself of, especially not with Peridot around. Their relationship was in a decent place, and she didn’t want to let the past ruin that. 

“Is that a human thing? The kissing and the topping?” 

“I don’t know. Ask Steven,” said Lapis. 

“I did,” said Peridot. “I sent him a text message about it forty-two minutes ago and he hasn’t gotten back to me. I assume he’s undergoing the human sleep ritual, so I won’t have his input until morning. Ugh! I can’t wait that long. 

“Lapis, I need you to kiss me!” she said, pointing toward her barn mate.

“What for?” said Lapis. She had another hunch, one that was telling her that this wasn’t a very good idea. Peridot was stubborn, though, and she would persist if denied her request. 

“I want to know what it’s all about. I want to know why humans are so obsessed with the kissing. I’m sure I’ll never agree about the topping thing, but the kissing? I need to know what that’s all about, and you’re the only one here.” 

“You could go find Amethyst. She’s into weird earth stuff,” Lapis suggested, her discomfort with the topic on the rise. Really, it was her way of saying no without dampening Peridot’s curiosity. Maybe someday she would give that kissing thing a chance, but today was not going to be one of those days.

“Do you know the sort of garbage that goes into Amethyst’s mouth? I wouldn’t dream of it,” said Peridot. “Now come on. Won’t you please help me?” 

“I said NO!” Lapis shouted, making Peridot flinch. All at once, Peridot crawled farther back than she meant to, and fell with a crash to the bottom of the barn. 

“Oww,” said Peridot. 

“Are you all right, Peridot?” 

“Yeah, I’ll just be down here, not bothering you anymore. Sorry, Lapis.” 

“No, I’m sorry,” said Lapis. “I shouldn’t have yelled. I just got really uncomfortable.”

“Why? Causing you discomfort was not my intent.” 

“I know. You’re usually so good. I just... I don’t know, Peridot. I’m sorry. Please come back up.” 

“No, I think it’s best if we have some time apart. We’ve been up there for like three weeks now and I’m feeling... kinda cramped.” 

“Oh,” said Lapis. “Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be here.”


End file.
